Testimonies

I want to set the tone for transparency here. I want everyone to know it’s okay to have a scarred past or even present, but God has better future in mind for you. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. God is not ashamed of you. He can redeem even the lowest points of your life for good! With that in mind, here’s my story…..
I grew up with a single mom and two little sisters. Mom always did her best but she was from the streets and taught me to hustle too. By 14 I was involved with gang who exploited me for sex and drug trafficking. I thought I was living the life! After all, it looked a lot like what I had been seeing on TV for so long… As a child we don’t consider the people around us could be using us for their own gain, so I hung out with this crowd for a few years and learned a lot from them. By 18 I was selling prostitutes and drugs in NYC. My own exploitation had stopped, but it taught me how to use others for my own gain. The name of the game was survival. My life plan was to stay gorgeous, make money, hang around with the most powerful people I could, and die at a young age; 21 tops. At 18 I reconnected with some long lost family members: my father and six siblings. I took frequent trips from NY to PA to spend time with them. On one of these trips I got in an accident that totaled my car. I didn’t know it at the time, but this is when I can see God showing His hand in my life. Not having that car stopped me from working in the city and got me away from some really toxic people. I was stranded at my father’s house! I stayed there for about six months, and in that time I got poisoned and died (obviously I was revived and live to tell the story!) and I got date raped by my bartender. I was struggling to make the cultural adjustments to life in PA, and combined with these other events I decided to see a therapist. Seeing the therapist turned into dating the therapist! Illegal? Yes. But this is the kind of company I seemed to attract….. I dated the teacher’s aid in high school, my therapist, and eventually two of my bosses. Don’t ask me how this happened. I can’t answer that. What I can say is God uses everything for good, because this hypocrite of a therapist introduced me to the Bible!!! It was just the Proverbs, but I had no real grid for practical morality so this was a great start. Eventually we split and I started seeing someone else who I had my first child with. He was an abusive addict and eventually I cut ties with him and became a homeless single parent at 21 years old. I also became heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol. At one point I went to NJ to live with my aunt, a wonderful woman who loves Jesus and loved me and my baby to pieces despite all the mess I brought into her life just by being around her! I was such a mess… but she prayed for me and one day I went to church with her. It was the third time I can remember ever being in a church building. I don’t remember the message that day, but whatever it was it prompted me to go to the altar and ask God for help. I was the best mom I could be, I loved my baby, but I realized I had nothing to offer her as a parent and He was my only hope. He broke addiction off of me that day. I still hung out with the same people. I still used drugs. But I didn’t feel like I had to do them anymore. I just did drugs because I didn’t know what else to do with my time. Eventually I left my aunt’s house in hopes of getting a fresh start. I moved in with a friend who was in college, had productive hobbies and an overall healthier, more balanced life than I had ever experienced myself. I started to work a legit job and pay rent, do things the right way. I lived above a salon and the owner made so many noise complaints my landlord asked me to leave. So I moved in with another friend and met her nephew, Kyle. He introduced to the rave scene, and I found out I really liked ecstasy. This was Satan’s final grab at me before I gave my life to Jesus. I wound up living with Kyle and his DJ friend who made awesome music and loved to party, like every night. I enjoyed this for a few weeks but the novelty wore off and I eventually found myself drinking green tea while watching them blow lines, get drunk and create mix tapes in the basement. Once I realized this wasn’t for me I left. And remember that therapist? Well, I bumped into him and asked him about his church. He brought me and I stayed there for almost ten years, learning to study the Bible. In that time I got married and had three more children. In the three years before I met Jesus I had moved 14 times! Now I’ve been in the same apartment for ten years. I can’t count the number of men I dated, since I met Jesus there’s only been one man in my life…. my husband. In the past ten years I’ve seen my baby be miraculously healed from Eczema that was so bad she bled daily, I was healed from scoliosis, had my back and hips healed from a hit and run car accident, miraculously received new intestines, and saw my daughter undergo deliverance from demonic spirits. I’ve learned to hear the voice of God and let Him be my guide and my comfort through the storms of life, and let Him be my motivator in the good times too. God has helped me recover from addiction, depression, abuse, and feelings of worthlessness. He redeemed my life. It’s only because of Him I have a purpose. And my purpose is this: to do the will of my Lord; to bring people into the kingdom of heaven, to heal the sick and cast out demons, to take territory for His kingdom everywhere I go. To terrify Satan every time I walk into the room because I’m there on Kingdom business. My life is not to be wasted, and neither is yours. God can and will redeem you. He brought me up out of the lowest places a person can go, and He’ll do it for you too. He showed me His character. He’ll do it for you too. He’s shown me His faithfulness. He’ll do it for you too. There’s nothing that God cannot and will not overcome to deliver you into His own arms, heal you, and send you out as a warrior for His kingdom. A conqueror, not to be conquered.